{"id":1386,"date":"2019-01-24T18:08:58","date_gmt":"2019-01-24T18:08:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katiepolski.com\/?p=1386"},"modified":"2019-01-24T18:08:58","modified_gmt":"2019-01-24T18:08:58","slug":"hamsters-and-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/katiepolski.com\/?p=1386","title":{"rendered":"Hamsters and Heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My two youngest were stir crazy during Christmas break, so\nthey asked to go to the pet store. \u201cSure. But we\u2019re not getting anything,\u201d <\/em>was what I said. It\u2019s always what I say when we approach the doors of the pet store. \u201cNothing this time. OK? No more pets. Got it?\u201d <\/em>That\u2019s what I say. But inevitably, we leave with at least one living creature. I can\u2019t help it. I\u2019m a total softy when it comes to animals, and I love them all. I imagine myself like this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

My husband, on the other hand, sees it like this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

And while I don\u2019t like to admit it, multiple animals in our\nhouse looks a lot more like my husband\u2019s picture. There\u2019s no doubt that I\u2019ve\ncontributed to the chaos with the various pets I\u2019ve brought home through the\nyears, and it was no surprise that after our \u201cquick trip\u201d to the pet store, we\nwalked out with two hamsters. Two hamsters, two cages, two bags of food,\nbedding, multiple toys (because rodents need toys, of course), two wheels and\ntwo food bowls. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re\nnot getting anything, <\/em>was what I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Within three days, the first hamster became sick and died. The next day, the second hamster endured the same fate. With the emotion that ensued, you would have thought my youngest had known these hamsters her whole life. You would have never known that mere hours before, she moved the hamster out of her room because it was “annoying.” Post rodent death, we endured various statements from my youngest such as: I don\u2019t know if I will ever be happy again,<\/em> and various questions like: why did God strike down these hamsters? Of all hamsters, why these? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the day progressed, I couldn\u2019t help but notice the many ways I was trying to suppress her sadness. This was partially for my own sanity, but it was also because I didn\u2019t want her to feel the weight of any kind of suffering\u2013 including something as trivial as the death of a small hamster. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t long ago that I engaged in a conversation with a\nfew moms about the difficulty of helping our kids navigate through the\ntumultuous sea of suffering and death. It\u2019s hard to know how to manage these\ndaunting waves when we ourselves struggle to understand how to handle grief.\nBut the reality is that our kids will be touched by suffering and death even in\ntheir young ages, so it\u2019s important as parents that we consider how we\u2019re going\nto help lead our kids through this difficult territory. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recognize the Different\nWays People Grieve.  <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When our dog died last year, we had just a taste for the ways in which each individual child deals with grief. One child wanted to be removed from it all and hid out in the bedroom for the evening. My other kid wanted to know every detail of what happened, how it happened, and even needed to go with my husband to put the dog down. The third kid could not grieve without verbally processing all the emotions that were cooped up inside. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I identified with one child\u2019s processing more than the\nothers; as a result, my tendency was to become frustrated with the two kids who\ndidn\u2019t deal with grief in the same way I do. The bottom line is that no one\nperson walks through the valley of the shadow of death in the same way, but in\nevery occasion, it is the same Jesus who leads us through. Our responsibility\nis to trust our Shepherd as He leads, and trust that he is tenderly guiding\neach sheep, even if the path doesn\u2019t look just like ours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a child grieves, it\u2019s important to meet them where they are in the journey. If you tend to be more verbal, for example, but have a child who internalizes, allow them a little more space than might be natural for you. God has made each of us unique, no one personality better than the other, and the beauty of this is that we can learn from one another rather than become impatient with our differences, even in dealing with suffering and death. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Review What the Bible\nSays About Death and Heaven <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m grateful for how much my dad discussed what the Bible\nhad to say about death and heaven while I was growing up. That may sound funny\nor seem a bit odd, but as an adult I\u2019ve thought many times about how much his\nopenness on these subjects has helped me through loss in life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Death is not a subject we want to dwell on, but the reality is that until Jesus returns, it is the one thing that we have in common with every living being that walks the face of the earth. First and foremost, it\u2019s important that our children understand that death is not the way it\u2019s supposed to be. It\u2019s not natural. It\u2019s the gut-wrenching result of a broken and sinful world. Because of this, it\u2019s important our kids know that while death is a reality, it\u2019s not something we ever need to be \u201cOK\u201d with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And we shouldn\u2019t talk to our kids about death apart from the glory that awaits those who believe in Jesus. I remember how normal it was as a child to sit around the dinner table and talk about heaven. When asked one time about our dreams of what the new heavens and new earth will be like, one of my sisters declared her high hopes that she might have her very own Snoopy Snow Cone machine.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who\u2019s to say whether or not this sister is still secretly holding out for snow cones in glory, but what I appreciate is that my dad didn\u2019t squelch our little dreams of what the earth will be like when all is redeemed. Instead, he dreamed right along with us, always reminding us that the greatest gift we will receive is seeing Jesus face to face. This regular reminder is the exact reason that when dad took his last breath, the first thing my mom whispered was, \u201cDo you see Him?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflect on Your Own\nExample. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut we do not want you to be uninformed,\nbrothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others\ndo who have no hope\u201d <\/em>(1\nThessalonians 4:13). As believers, our grieving should not look like the rest\nof the world because we have hope.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This reality changes everything! Most importantly, it should remind us that our grief should not be void of the hope that we have in Jesus. We live every day knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when a believer closes their eyes in this life, they awaken to the face of Jesus. There is so much joy in this truth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But holding securely to this hope does not mean our grieving should be emptied of emotion. Death will always be difficult, so there’s no need to be stoic for our kids or brush the waves of doubt under the rug; instead, we need to model for our children what it looks like to depend on God and hold fast to his truths even when we are deeply sad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The night the first hamster died, I was watching a home video from one of my childhood Christmases. My youngest sat with me and watched the smiling faces of my parents, grandparent, and great aunt and uncle who are now with Jesus. My dad\u2019s video camera even caught a glimpse of the several pets in my childhood home (I come by it innocently, my friends). Sensing the depth of emotion the video was invoking, my daughter looked up at me and said, \u201cAre you going to cry, mom? It\u2019s OK if you cry. Just remember that we have Jesus.\u201d <\/em>Amen and Amen. Until the day the Lord makes all things new, may we hold fast to the hope we have in Him, and may we seek, by God\u2019s grace alone, to teach our children to do the same. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My two youngest were stir crazy during Christmas break, so they asked to go to the pet store. \u201cSure. But … <\/p>\n

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