{"id":26,"date":"2015-03-19T02:13:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-19T02:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katiepolski.com\/?p=26"},"modified":"2015-03-19T02:13:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-19T02:13:00","slug":"listen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/katiepolski.com\/?p=26","title":{"rendered":"Listen"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
Since caring for my mom, who at 62 has a rare degenerative brain disease, I\u2019ve had many friends walk along side me who have been through similar circumstances.   I\u2019m so grateful for those friends \u2013 their wisdom, gentle counsel and just plain understanding.  <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
It\u2019s an interesting thing to \u201cparent\u201d a parent.  I\u2019m pretty sure that if my mom could put the thoughts t<\/span>ogether, she\u2019d laugh and<\/span> remind me of when I was sixteen and so desperately<\/span> wanted <\/span>our roles to be reversed.  As difficult as my mom is at taking directions, I was worse.  I was far worse.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019ll<\/span> never forget driving my sister, Erin,<\/span> on one particular morning.  I was running late (some things will never change) to wherever it was we were going, so I had planned to eat my breakfast in the car.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Erin <\/span>had been buckled up in the<\/span> car<\/span> <\/span>a good ten minutes <\/span>early (and still other things never change<\/span>) until I finally got myself together.  After loading up the car, I ran back in for my:  grape juice, orange juice, and peanut butter and jelly doused English Muffins.   Thinking I could successfully eat all of that <\/span>while driving <\/span>was my first mistake.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My se<\/span>cond mistake was the <\/span>response that came after my mom said to me on my way out the door:  \u201cYou\u2019re not going to eat that while you\u2019re driving\u2026<\/span>. are<\/span> you.\u201d  It was more of a statement than a question.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
M<\/span>y response was<\/span>, \u201cwhatever.\u201d  Not smart.  Not smart at all.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
After several minutes of chastising,<\/span> it <\/span>was decided that the breakfast would be allowed <\/span> to stay in the car<\/span> but only if my sister held the<\/span> English Muffins until we arrived at our destination.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Again, the word \u201cwhatever.\u201d  I didn\u2019t learn quickly.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Finally, we <\/span>pulled away and within seconds <\/span>I told my sister to hand me the plate of muffins.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
You are so disobe<\/span>dient!<\/span>  We\u2019re all going to die!  Mom said to not eat it!  <\/span>I\u2019m supposed to hold it!  <\/span>Do you even know God?  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK, so I don<\/span>\u2019t remember exactly what my<\/span> sister said, but it was something along these general lines.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Tuning her out, I started <\/span>into the English muffins, which were smothered with <\/span>grap<\/span>e jelly.  I remember that<\/span> because I spilled some on my shirt.  <\/span>So,<\/span> while driving, I set the plate down and attempted to clean off my shirt.  Also, while driving, the plate s<\/span>lipped off my lap.  And so, within a mile of our house, I leaned down to pick up my plate and turned the wheel just in time to hit a truck head on in the other lane.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
We spun seve<\/span>ral times, almost flipping over, <\/span>and it took se<\/span>veral minutes for me to <\/span>register the following things:  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
1.  My sister<\/span>, who was sitting next to me, was punching me in the arm.  <\/span><\/div>\n
2.  Both<\/span> of us were covered <\/span>in Grape Juice and Orange Juice<\/span><\/div>\n
3.  There was Grape Jelly on the front windshield<\/span><\/div>\n
4.  The affected truck driver was banging on my window<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
For twenty-<\/span>four hours my parents rejoiced in the reality that my need to eat my English Muffins <\/span>took no ones life.  But, it didn\u2019t take long for the <\/span>parental <\/span>speech that I so deserved<\/span> (and became very familiar with)<\/span> which <\/span>always <\/span>began with<\/span> the words<\/span>:  \u201cYou need to listen to me<\/span>\u2026<\/span>\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I see it in my own pre-teen daughter who isn\u2019t as defiant as me (this is one of many reasons I believe in God\u2019s mercy and grace\u2026<\/span>. although<\/span> there is a child under my oldest who is teaching me plenty about justice) but is easily embarrassed by my instructions.  I <\/span><\/div>\n
learned this when I made the mistake of joining her at her Jr. High School <\/span>to show her a he<\/span>lpful way to set up her locker in order to fit what she needed.  <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Um, major mistake.  Major.  But then several weeks later when she tol<\/span>d me she couldn\u2019t fit everything in her locker, I <\/span>said, \u201cYou need to <\/span>listen to me\u2026<\/span>\u201d <\/span>My laugh may <\/span>or may not <\/span>have been slightly diabolical.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Something happens as we age.  It happens almost miraculously.  Our parent\u2019s advice is no longer a hindrance or<\/span> an <\/span>embarrassment<\/span>, but it\u2019s a necessity.  A welcomed and cherished necessity to life\u2019s growing difficulti<\/span>es as we mature<\/span>.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I had to give my mom some medicine the other night.  She refused it at first, so I tried a little joking around.  I tol<\/span>d her it was my famous cocktail.  While that usually works, mom refused it telling me, \u201cNo.\u201d  So, I resorted to a firmer and more direct approach:  \u201cMom, you need to take this and I\u2019m not leaving until you do.\u201d  Like a stubborn child, she literally put it to her lips then put it down again.  So, I made myself comfortable on the bed and told her I\u2019d sleep with her if she didn\u2019t drink it all.   The medicine was gone within a minute.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019ve been taking directions from the <\/span>neurologist<\/span> <\/span>that I feel le<\/span>ss than equipped to <\/span>implement; I\u2019ve been giving advice to my step father on many issues that I\u2019m still trying to figure out <\/span>myself and have had to give <\/span>mom instructions that I would have never imagined would come from my mouth:  <\/span>be gentle; wait for me to get you up;<\/span> let me help you with your pants. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I find myself <\/span>wanting my mom and dad and <\/span>their<\/span> advice.  <\/span>I want <\/span>their<\/span> instruction and <\/span>the<\/span>ir<\/span> wisdom.  And I long for their comfort.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
God has gently and mercifully met me in my weakness.  He\u2019s sought me in these areas where my faith lacks.  I\u2019ve sought <\/span>wisdom and assurance from so many around<\/span> me, but at times nothing <\/span>makes a difference except for the peace of God, which <\/span>passes<\/span> all understanding. <\/span>I have to be willing to listen to Him.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
His peace passes <\/span>all<\/span> <\/span>understanding.  So, <\/span>there is no logical explanation<\/span> for why when we tell my mom we\u2019re going to pray, she calms from an incredibly agitated state.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
There\u2019s no medical<\/span> explanation for a young woman, whose blog I follow, who is near death\u2019s door to claim with confidence and assurance the peace of God.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
It\u2019s when we listen to Jesus that we can relinquish our fears of what could happen to our kids, what could become of our finances, <\/span>and <\/span>what m<\/span>ight become of our own health.  <\/span><\/span>It\u2019s when we listen that we find His peace.<\/span>  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But too often I f<\/span>orget to be still and to listen, not unlike my stubborn sixteen year-old self.<\/span>  I forget to be still, <\/span>and<\/span> I forget to open my arms to His<\/span> comfort and understanding. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But in the strangest moments, I\u2019m reminded. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
After changing mom a<\/span>nd threatening her with my never-ending<\/span> presence <\/span>in order <\/span>to get her to take the<\/span> medicine,<\/span> we sat and prayed with my stepfather<\/span>.  And in the calmness and peacefulness<\/span> of that moment, <\/span>while she held my hand, I was reminded<\/span> once again to just <\/span><\/div>\n
listen.  <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
                                          <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since caring for my mom, who at 62 has a rare degenerative brain disease, I\u2019ve had many friends walk along … <\/p>\n

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