What the Tooth Fairy Has to do With Christmas

My kids used to believe in the tooth fairy.

We didn’t actually set out as parents to create a fictional fairy in the minds of our littles, it just kind of…happened. My oldest lost her first tooth before bed one evening, and we were as excited as she was about this “first” as parents. We put it securely under her pillow, and as our sweet girl closed her eyes she said, “I can’t wait to see how much money the tooth fairy will leave me for my very first tooth.”

My heart burst with her over this milestone. We kissed our oldest goodnight, quietly closed the door, then darted in separate directions. No words were needed; we simply understood that neither of us carried cash. There’s no doubt that in the amount of time it took to search for coins under every cushion and couch, we could have been to the ATM and back, but we weren’t thinking clearly. Our eldest had just lost her first tooth, for heaven’s sake. As far as our emotions were concerned, that first tooth signified her growing up. As far as our emotions were concerned, the cycle of life was basically: first tooth lost, college, and then marriage. It was all just too much, and so we were not thinking clearly about helpful things like ATMs for parents who discovered their toothless child.

I sat on the couch feeling defeated with mere pennies in my hand. I didn’t feel as though six cents would suffice for a first tooth, so I made an executive decision. Christmas was only a week away and the kid’s presents had been bought and hidden. I decided to pull out one of my daughter’s Christmas gifts and put it next to her bed. Of course, a gift couldn’t simply show up in exchange for the tooth fairy’s well-known cash gifts, so we pulled out a postcard decorated with wild-flowers and wrote a note…with just a few minor details. The personal note to my daughter included an introduction to the “special” tooth fairy who only visited certain children. This “special” fairy was the one in a million who delivered presents to kids instead of measly coins. And to be certain, the flowers on the front of the postcard were just a glimpse of the magical land where she lived.

My husband suggested that a nice gift and eloquent note were a bit much, but then I reminded him: lost tooth, college, marriage….and he acquiesced. I was thrilled with my plan. I thought it was the best plan of any parent whose child had lost their first tooth.

It was the worst plan of any parent whose child had lost their first tooth. How in all of the earth did we not consider that a child has twenty teeth in their mouth? And how did we not consider that these twenty teeth were times three children.

I considered turning the tide when my second child lost his first tooth, but when we saw his enthusiasm over the potential “gift” that the “special fairy” was going to bring him, we knew we had lost all hope of returning to the tradition of quarters under their pillows. For us as parents, losing teeth meant quick trips to the store for presents, no matter the plans for the evening, and handwritten postcards about the on goings of special fairy life. And so, we dreaded the loss of teeth as parents. While most adults were enjoying yanking loose ones, we were considering gluing them in.

Losing Focus

I couldn’t help but think back on my emotions as the infamous special fairy after talking to a few mothers about the impending holiday season. For many parents, there is an unspoken pressure to make Christmas as perfect as it can be for our kiddos. This includes any number of self-induced expectations – the Elf on the Shelf moved to better places than last year, the right gifts given in order to incite that special level of excitement, Christmas dinner overflowing with everyone’s favorite dishes, a perfect picture on the Christmas card, and the list goes on and on.

Instead of being excited with my children over their toothless smiles, I had turned the milestone into an unattainable tradition that effectively squeezed out any sense of excitement and instead filled me with loathing over all the activity that “needed” to take place. Unfortunately for some, Christmas has turned into something similar. Even with all of its joyous traditions and fancified decorations, if we lose sight of why we celebrate Christmas, it can simply become an overwhelming force of expectation and to-do’s.

The reality is that our kids experience Christmas through us. What they see, they emulate and what they sense as the priority, they will learn to highlight. Our elves and menus and presents are not the problem, it’s when these receive more focus than the Advent of Christ that we begin to lose sight of what is truly important. It’s when our traditions are celebrated apart from the incarnation that they begin to feel more like busy tasks than a celebration of our Savior. When that happens, we begin to look more like the rest of the world who elevates the rituals of the holiday but who all too often leaves Christ out of it.

Regaining Perspective

If the magnificence of the Incarnation does not overwhelm you with joy and awe, then there is nothing more important to do this Christmas than re-focus your heart on the One who humbled Himself on your behalf. In the incarnation, Jesus put on our flesh and blood and became fully human while still fully maintaining His divinity. It was a miracle. And taking on flesh does not mean that Jesus merely took on the human body, but he took on everything it means to be human. In order to save us, he needed to be made like us “in every respect” (Hebrews 2:17), except that our Savior was sinless.

If you are a believer in Christ, the God you serve is not a distant, withdrawn God, but He is humble, purposeful, and loving. He did not remain a baby, but reigns as the holy and great King who also empathizes with the pains that are a result of our fallen humanity. All of it is truly remarkable, and it is the reason that we celebrate this Christmas.

Unfortunately, what my kids saw growing up was that losing a tooth made mom stressed and frazzled rather than excited. I had simply lost sight of the reason to rejoice over those little milestones. This Christmas season, may the Lord renew in us an excitement for the gospel, and may he give us the ability to regain perspective on the reason that we celebrate. And by His grace, may our experience be shared with our kids that they might see the magnificence beyond the lights and presents…and believe.