I played four years of varsity basketball in high school, but I was not the best on the team. Not by a long shot. In fact, there was a running joke that I spent more time on the floor than on my feet during a game. Mentally, I knew where I needed to move on the court, but my tall, lanky frame made it so that my mind and body were never quite unified.
I wasnât the cool kid, folks.
None-the-less, I loved the game, loved me team, and respected my coach. Iâll never forget one particular game â the highest scoring game of my career. I scored twenty-six points when all was said and done, and by the time the buzzer went off, I was proudly walking on cloud nine, even with bruised knees.
The first thing I did was use a pay phone to call home. My parents were hosting a group from church that evening, and when my mom answered, I told her all about the game. She flew up to cloud nine with me and sat there for several proud moments. I clicked the phone down and you couldnât have pried the smile off my face.
This game was on my mind when I recently came across an article entitled, âWhy Parents Should Go to All of Their Kidâs Games.â The title was intriguing to me, and as I read the content, essentially arguing that much of a kidâs self-worth comes from their parentâs presence, I thought back to the night of my highest scoring game. I called my parents. There were several games they had to miss through the years, so it wasnât their absence that stuck with me, it was the sweet phone conversation with my mom that included concentrated listening and proud responses.
What should our response should be, as Christian parents, toward the mentality that we should never miss one of our childrenâs events?
There are three important principles that guide us from Scripture:
1. Our Children Are Precious Gifts From God.
Psalm 127:3 reminds us that âchildren are a gift from the Lord.â This gift, a picture of Godâs faithful love, comes with great responsibility. We should be protecting, loving, and guiding our children while seeking wisdom regularly from the One who created them.
Our love for our kids should make us want to attend their events as they grow. As you watch your kids mature, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing them flourish with unique talents. When my daughter uses her acting skills on the stage, I am blown away because I know (trust me) that I didnât put those skills inside of her; I didnât produce in her a desire to know and understand the world of theatre, but God did. Every success along the way, from potty-training to college scholarships, are pictures of the grace of God at work in our kidâs lives. Itâs remarkable! We should praise the milestones and rejoice in their accomplishments.
And because they are gifts from the Lord, we shouldnât view our kids or their activities as inconveniences. We have eighteen shorts years with them in our home, so when school is called off unexpectedly, your child is not an inconvenience because of work. They are a precious gift. And when a basketball game is scheduled early on a Saturday morning, they are not an inconvenience because they are making you get up early. They are a precious gift.
As a believer in Jesus, your heavenly Father sings over you (Zephaniah 3:17) because He loves you and delights in you. As image bearers of Christ, we should be singing over our kids and regularly give thanks to God for these gifts He has entrusted to us.
2. Our Childrenâs Confidence Should Come From Christ Alone
In the article, âWhy Parents Should Go to All of Their Kidâs Games,â the author states: âAt every game, I would search for [my parentâs] faces in the stands. When I found them, I knew I mattered. I knew my dreams mattered.â
No matter how many games, recitals, or shows we attend because we love our kids, if we teach them that they matter because they see us, we have failed to usher them – past us – to the feet of our Savior. The burden of instilling in our children a sense of confidence in who they are because of our presence is too great a weight to carry, which is precisely why God did not intend for this to be our priority.
Godâs plan and purpose for godly parents is that they teach their children to put their confidence in Christ alone. Psalm 78 gives us clear instructions on this matter:
âWe will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wondersâŚHe commanded our ancestors to teach them to our children, so the next generation might know them â even the children not yet born – and they in turn will teach their own children.â (Psalm 78:4-6)
Training them in this way doesnât leave room for selfishness. We shouldnât withhold reading the Bible to them because weâre tired, and we shouldnât stay at home from a piano recital because Netflix is more exciting. But it does mean that if our priority is teaching our children about who God is, we donât have to carry the burden that their confidence rests on us and our presence with them.
Ultimately, we want our kids to understand that what they do, they do for the glory of God â not for us. We want to instill in them an assurance of the gifts and talents God has given them, which means they can play, sing, dance, and compete with confidence both when weâre in the crowd and when weâre not.
3. Our Goal Is Well-Rounded Faithfulness
When we canât be at a game because of an important work commitment, church event, or a planned night out with our spouse or friends, weâre also reminding our kids that while they are a priority, their activities are not always the most important choice. It is a gift to your children to model for them involvement in other aspects of life.
While God has called us to be parents, He has simultaneously called us to commitments in other significant roles. Many are concurrently spouses, friends, church members, employees, organizational leaders, and volunteers. The Bible speaks to the importance of every single one of these roles. There will be times as parents when commitments in one of these areas will keep you from attending a game or event. And there will be other times when youâll have the opportunity to cheer from the stands. Both scenarios can have a positive impact on your children.
Itâs important that weâre teaching our kids what it looks like to be faithfully well-rounded. If we set the standard for ourselves that we will never miss a childâs game or event, then another area of commitment will likely suffer along the way. Our kids need to see us relying on the all-sufficient grace of God to be faithful in the many roles weâre called to, and we need Godâs wisdom to see where there might be unbalance. Be encouraged to know that as we grow in grace and understanding, our children are learning right along with us.
I knew growing up that I was precious to my parents. I felt loved by both of them, and I cherished their presence when they made it to games. But this was not their greatest gift to me. Their greatest gift was introducing me to Jesus and teaching me that my confidence and security doesnât come from their praises from the stands, but from Jesus Christ alone. Letâs cheer our kids on toward a faith grounded in Christ, the only One who is sure to be present with them every day and forevermore.
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Your writing keeps getting better and better! Thanks for taking the time to share this important message.