I suspect I wasn’t the only one scrolling through social media around Christmas time, viewing the myriad of pictures of kids and grandkids and family photos, many of which were sent electronically this year because #2020. Typically, I enjoy seeing the joy that radiates off the faces of friends and family, but I felt a different and unwelcome emotion as I perused the various pictures.
I felt envious.
It’s a beast, this sneaky, seemingly harmless emotion that tip toes in and takes advantage of the heart’s longings. What started out as scanning turned into desiring which quickly turned into feelings of bitterness. Photos of extended family created envy toward those whose parents are still alive. Pictures of siblings piled on each other left me resentful towards families whose teens seem so tight knit. And pictures of beautifully decorated Christmas cookies invited in irritation toward those whose baking skills produced something better than this:
Oy vey.
Envy is a beast, and it devours those who relent to its devious ways. We shouldn’t be surprised, however, because the Bible makes clear in a number of places the destruction that envy causes. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” A tranquil heart, the antithesis of an envious one, is able to feel joy for another person’s joy, and love for another’s well-being. This kind of peaceful heart provides real and lasting refreshment to a soul. Envy, on the other hand, does nothing but wear us down physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It literally eats away at a person.
Where Envy Begins
John Piper explains that “envy seems to be born of a restless heart that does not find God satisfying.” In short, envy begins with a lack of gratitude for all that the Lord has done. Gratitude sees God’s faithfulness with each morning’s sun rise; envy sees only the clouds, putting a damper on the beauty of each day’s joys and challenges.
Gratitude has eyes opened to God’s perfect and loving sovereignty. Envy merely questions the goodness of God. Envy tells us that though God has provided wonderful friends and church families, satisfaction cannot come until He also provides a spouse. Envy blinds us to the gift of raising the children the Lord has given us and causes us to see only the challenges that stem from a vexing attitude. Envy hides deep in our soul and causes us to look at pictures of others with anger and resentment instead of finding joy in the provisions of a loving and gracious God. Envy wears us down in every way, leaving us spiritually and emotionally empty. And when we think our wounds are soothed by someone else’s misfortune, the momentary relief is only redirect toward the next object of frustration and dislike.
Where Envy Ends
Envy ends at the cross. When we put in proper perspective who we are and what the Lord has done in our life, the empty desires are torn off and instead we are clothed with the precious comfort and joy of being in Christ. This picture is exactly what Paul urges believers to do in Ephesians 4 when he exhorts those who trust in Jesus to “put off your old self…and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God…”
Our love for Jesus, if we desire it to grow and grow, will naturally spill over onto others, even those we tend to envy. This embedded sin will be a part of our existence until the day Christ returns which is why there is grace; with each new sunrise, there is grace. But it’s also why we need to be vigilant in fighting against this sin that enslaves. Here are two practical suggestions of ways to pull away from envy:
Pray. When feelings of bitterness rise to the surface because someone seemingly has what you desire, pray for that person. Pray for their spiritual well-being and give thanks to God for what He is doing in their life. Pray that their desire for Jesus grows and watch how over time the Lord softens your own heart and provides the tranquility needed to flush out the envy.
Pull away from the screen. There are times when stepping away from social media is not only healthy but necessary. The pictures on our screens are often facades that feed us lies about our own surroundings. The pictures tell us that someone else is happier, healthier, more fulfilled, and we believe these lies without hesitation. But our eyes only see what is right in front of us. Sin affects all, and where there is sin, there is pain, struggle, confusion, anxiety, and longing. No one lives in perfection this side of heaven. We all need the grace that Jesus provides.
If the screen is a source of envy, then pull away from it and turn toward the cross. Long for Jesus more than you do earthly desires and pray that He would give you a heart of thanksgiving for exactly what He has given you. There is hope in battling against the beast of envy. Start fighting it with the truth of the gospel before it wears you down and be filled with the peace and joy that is promised in trusting Jesus wholeheartedly in the place He has called you to right here and right now.
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Love your advice to pray for people you envy. It definitely softens my heart toward them and helps me to be grateful for their gifts instead of wishing I had better.