My husband traveled to Yemen several years ago. The purpose was to encourage a missionary family who was serving Jesus in this challenging place, but while there, he also had the opportunity to experience the nuances of Middle Eastern culture.
On one particular day, he was invited to have a traditional lunch with a Yemenis family. They sat on the floor, men only, and my husband tried to not be too concerned about the small sword that each man let casually hang from his belt. It’s no surprise that it ended up being an interesting lunch, and toward the end of the meal, the patriarch of the home leaned toward my husband and said: “You bring your wife and children here. I will give you land, and you live here with us.”
“That’s very gracious, but I’ll have to go home and speak with my wife about it first.” I still laugh imagining this interaction. And his response. Bless him. He was looking at the swords. The answer was a hard, “NO,” but that’s just not always the easiest thing to say.
I struggle verbalizing a definite “no,” and there have been times when the negative consequences of not prayerfully considering my yeses have become abundantly clear. Folks, my tendency is to throw out the word “yes” like its confetti decorating a table at a baby shower: Yes! Sure! I’ll do it! Bring it on!
On the other hand, some have difficulty with a confident “yes,” giving half-hearted answers suggesting that they’ll think about it (and hope the asker doesn’t follow up), or verbalize a hesitant, ‘yes, I think’ because they want to save a little space just in case something better comes up.
Prayerful Consideration
As believers, we often forget the importance of prayerful consideration when making decisions to say “yes” or “no.” We live in a fast pace go, go world, and we’ve fallen prey to it by returning a quick reply without prayerfully considering what the Lord would have us do. And this applies both to smaller decisions as well as the bigger answers we have to consider.
When I was young, I remember my parents praying with us for wisdom in whether or not they should purchase a new car. For some reason, this little scene from childhood is ingrained in my memory, and I’m glad for it because their testimony has stuck with me through the years. Stop, consider, and pray. We needed a new car, my parents were offered a great deal, so the obvious answer was, “buy it!” But that’s not how they went about making decisions. They first considered it in a prayerful manner.
James 1:5 reminds us that if we lack wisdom to ask God, and He will give it to us generously. Ask Him boldly believing that Jesus will make the answer clear, and then follow the spirit’s prompting and answer with a confident “yes” or “no.”
Sometimes “Yes” Can Be Life-Giving
If you struggle to remember the last time you said “yes” to a need, then maybe you need a soft nudge to remember that sometimes it’s good and life-giving to say, “yes.” Saying yes is not just about agreeing to participate in something that’s easy to do, but it’s also about answering a need that may be out of your norm. Doing so will often breathe new life into mundane routines and even provide renewed spiritual refreshment.
Years ago, the church I was attending was in need of a preschool Sunday School teacher. This was so out of my comfort zone that I didn’t give the invitation a second thought. I taught high schoolers; the idea of teaching preschool felt like entering a foreign country, and I was sure they’d notice I was the tourist. But after seeing the announcement for a few weeks, it kept coming to mind. I prayed about it and eventually said, “I’ll do it.”
I will never forget the two years that I served with that little class. Teaching the very basics of our faith renewed me in a way I didn’t know I needed, and to see the growth in their precious souls encouraged my own heart. It was life-giving, friends. Ask the Lord what you may be avoiding because it’s not what you typically do. And as He opens the door, try not to make the immediate excuse that you simply don’t have the time. The way we use our time can be shuffled during different seasons. Take a chance. Make the leap. See how the Lord uses your “yes” in life-giving way.
Sometimes “No” Can Be Life-Restoring
I empathize if you are one who struggles to turn down any opportunity, but sometimes causing our plates to overflow can be detrimental to us and to those we’re seeking to serve. For that reason, the occasional “no” can be life-restoring.
Often, the drive to repeatedly say yes is a due to a fear of disappointing a particular person or group of people. We wonder if saying no will cause someone to lose respect for us. But when fear is removed from the decision-making process, we’re restored to do the work we’re passionate about rather than serving simply to please.
No matter how many reasons you have to yes to something, stop, consider, and pray. “Yesers” have the tendency to respond immediately and without much forethought, but trust that the Lord will give you clarity and wisdom.
And there’s a bit of selfishness in a constant need to say yes. At Thanksgiving dinner this year, my son took six large rolls from the small buffet I set up for our family of five, leaving only one behind. He ate the bread first, and, naturally, enjoyed very little of the delicious turkey and other side items. He was stuffed! Beyond that, he was the only one who had the opportunity to enjoy the buttery deliciousness. Are there opportunities that come your way that perhaps someone else could enjoy and grow from? Is your plate so full that you aren’t able to relish in each opportunity that fills it?
It’s a gift to be able to consider new opportunities. When we work and serve, we do so to the glory of God and with the gifts and talents He has given us. As your Creator, He will make clear if the question should be answered with a confident “yes” or “no.” Trust His prodding, whichever way the Lord may be directing.
