There’s been a lot of tragedy of late in our little circle of the world – a sweet family whose son was suddenly gone from this earth because of a car accident; a pastor friend who has comforted his congregation as they mourn the loss of a young woman murdered; and a dear friend and beloved congregant who died suddenly from a stroke. It’s heavy, and in the quiet moments of prayer, I hear my own laments more than anything else.
It wasnât long ago that I had coffee with a mother whose son had recently been diagnosed with a debilitating disease. As she explained to me the dramatic way in which their life had changed due to the need for indefinite medical care, her words were almost too much to take in. It was a heavy turn of events for this woman, but she did not become emotional until she looked at me and said, âThe worst part is that God feels distant, like I canât find him anymore.â
Her feeling isnât uncommon, and I’ve experienced it myself. We’re daily confronted with the reality that we live in a broken world, and in those desperate moments, I too have wondered, where are you, God?
Though there are seasons when God feels distant, the Scripture tells us a different story. We might feel that Jesus is nowhere to be found, but Psalm 34:18 tells us that God is close to the brokenhearted, and Godâs Words do not lie. If your heart is broken, God is right there to comfort, and if you feel like youâre drowning, God is right there to pull you up and give you breath.
When we sense that God is distant, God is not the problem, we are. And often, the problem stems from the reality that weâre not willing to listen, especially in our pain. In Deuteronomy 6:4, before God tells Israel what He commands of them, he says, âHear, O Israel!â Hear, people of God! Listen up!
In order to feel that intimacy with Jesus, we need to listen to what God is saying to us. Listen to His Words that they might penetrate our hearts; listen to His Words that they might surface in times of loneliness and desperation.
But we are not people who listen well. We like to talk, and we struggle to listen. There are two ways that are especially detrimental to listening well: when we listen with ears shut or when we listen with ears half opened. If we can learn, however, what it is to listen to God willingly and expectantly, we will hear Him speak, and we will sense his closeness through the tears.
Listening With Ears Shut
In his book Living Life Backward, David Gibson dives deep into the heart of Ecclesiastes and the reality that under the sun, life can be trying, and there are no easy answers as to why God may feel distant in our suffering. But, the author concedes, âthe reality of God is measured by the truthfulness of his speech, not by my grasp of his presence.â
We may be hearing truth from friends or even from the Scripture, but we may be listening with ears tightly shut. Itâs often the case that when we face seasons of suffering, our heart becomes hard toward the promises of God and we wonder, how is this happening to me? Why does my child have to face this? Bitterness takes root, and when it begins to grow it will shut out our ability to hear Jesus speak into our pain.Â
So, how do we open our ears if theyâve been closed to God? Start by trusting in His promises with every ounce of your strength. Pray everyday that the Lord will soften your heart and open your ears, and then pick a Scripture passage and read it over and over. Imagine God sitting right across from you. What would you say? Say it! Cry out to Him. Be honest with your emotions; Davidâs raw honesty is all over the pages of the Psalms. It was when he opened his heart and was real with God that he felt His Saviorâs presence.
And after youâve spoken to him, stop, be still, and listen. What is His Word saying to you?
Isaiah 55:2-3 says, âWhy do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to meâŚâ
We try to avoid pain by covering it up with foolish things that donât ultimately feed our soul in our deepest longings. This verse in Isaiah reminds us that listening with ears shut is like trying to sooth our pain with Netflix, shopping, or other futile measures. But Jesus says, stop.
Come to me. Listen to me. He alone has life-giving and life-nourishing words if we are only willing to really listen.
Listening With Ears Half Open
Sometimes the problem isnât that our ears are shut but that weâre listening only with half open ears because we think we already know it all. A person who struggles in this way is one who, in the deepest place in their heart, believes that what they have to say is more important than what God has to say. There is nothing new for me to learn from Godâs Word that might bring me comfort.
Itâs easy for a person who listen with ears half open to sing unabashedly and affirm the sermons verbally, but the charade becomes apparent when suffering takes center stage. The halfhearted listener becomes bitter because their relationship with God has become mere religiosity more than a relationship.
You may be the person that everyone seeks advice from, but it is OK to admit that you do not have all the answers. More significant than our words are the Words of God. Are we pointing our friends to them? Are we spilling over Scriptures not with the intent to exegete but just to listen?
Deep study is good and right to do, but if you are someone who listens with ears half open it may be necessary to carve out additional time to just read and hear what God is saying to your heart. Read a passage that reminds you of his kindness (Ps. 48:9), and then close your eyes and meditate on this glimpse of his never-ending love for you. Take time to âtaste and see that the Lord is goodâ (Ps. 34:8). Sit long enough that you can begin to taste the goodness of God.
Listen carefully with the purpose of strengthening your relationship with Jesus, not to sufficiently âknow it all.â Be honest with questions, doubts, and emotions, and know that the Lord can carry all of it. He would rather hear your honest worries than watch you pretend your way through trials.
Madeleine LâEngle once said, âThose who believe they believe in GodâŚwithout anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe in the idea of God, not in God Himself.â
God has spoken to us through His Word, and those Words are trustworthy even when our faith falters. His unrelenting love and ever-present existence are written all over the pages of Scripture reminding us that He is never distant. But are we willing to listen? Are we willing to press into Jesus even when weâre confused by our circumstances? God is there, as close as your breath. Open His Words, even if just for a few minutes, and listen to Him speak.
