“The Church is a Harlot, But She is My Mother”

A dear sister in Christ shared some hard church stories with me this past weekend. Abuse overlooked, widows neglected, pastors pushing against biblically trained women, and other weighty matters tangled in between.

It was painful to hear. 

But what was incredible is that after she explained the varying hardships she has experienced within a couple different churches, she didn’t throw up her hands and say, “I’m done with it.” 

Instead, she told me that she resonates with a quote that is often attributed to Augustine of Hippo: “The church is a harlot, but she is my mother.” 

The quote stopped me in my tracks because it is just, plain true. 

The visible church may be deeply flawed, but she remains the place where God ordinarily nurtures his people. For lal her imperfections, we still need the church. 

The Church is a Harlot

As noted in a conference I recently attended, research from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business indicates that while about 25% of Americans claim to be Evangelical, only 5-9 percent attend church weekly. 

You don’t have to go far to hear what has become a mantra in our culture: “I’m spiritual but not religious.” In other words, sure, I believe in God, but there is no way you can get me to commit to that institution called the church. 

And in many ways, I get it. I’ve been in ministry over twenty-five years, and I have heard many stories of church hurt, some beyond comprehension. There is sin in every church, and in some churches, there is corruption including abuse of power and moral failures of leaders. 

Biblical imagery sometimes describes God’s people as unfaithful spouses when they turn from God, as in the book of Hosea. In that prophetic picture, God commands the prophet to marry a woman who will be unfaithful to him. Her wandering becomes a living illustration of Israel’s spiritual adultery. Again and again she leaves, and again and again Hosea pursues and redeems her. 

The point of Hosea is not merely the unfaithfulness of God’s people. It’s the relentless covenant love of God. Even after betrayal, God declares that he will “allure her and speak tenderly to her” (VS). He restores the one who wandered. The story is shocking because it reveals the depth of God’s loyalty to a wayward people. 

In many ways the church’s story follows the same painful pattern. Congregations wander. Leaders fail. Communities fracture. The people who are supposed to embody the love of Christ sometimes wound one another deeply. In those moments the church can look painfully like the unfaithful spouse in Hosea’s story. 

If we’re honest, the problem is not merely “the church out there.” We are the church. Every congregation’s failures are made up of the same raw material – sinners being sanctified slowly by grace.

But here’s the thing. Hosea’s story doesn’t end with abandonment. It ends with redemption. The unfaithful wife is pursued and restored. That pattern – sin, discipline, and restoration – has always marked God’s people. So, if God doesn’t abandon his people, should we? 

But She is My Mother 

John Calvin famously wrote, “For those to whom God is Father, the Church must also be Mother.”  The visible church may behave as a harlot from time to time, but we cannot abandon her because we need her. It is through the church that we ordinarily experience God’s means of grace. 

The church is where the Word is preached, where we receive the sacraments, and where disciples are made. The Bible is clear that these are the marks of the church, but nowhere in Scripture does it demand these things to be done perfectly. They will always be done imperfectly because they are led by imperfect people. Held to a higher standard, yes, but church leaders are imperfect. 

And if you have been touched by that imperfection on a great scale, the sin does not invalidate the church. 

The church in Corinth had sexual immorality, divisions, and abuse of communion. And yet the Apostle Paul still calls them, “The Church of God in Corinth” (VS). The commitment we make is to be about the business of reforming the church, not abandoning her because she is the church of God given for God’s people to advance his kingdom and to live in community with one another. 

As much pain as I have seen and heard, I have also seen and experienced the beauty of Christ’s bride. I have seen spiritual mothers give of themselves in discipleship, prayer, and teaching. I have seen spiritual fathers serve diligently, thoughtfully, and with tender care. I have experienced the love of Jesus through the hands and feet of the local church. A friend seeing through the plastered smile, a congregant providing a meal unexpectedly, or a handwritten note of gratitude – these are all tangible glimpses of God’s unrelenting, unabandoning love. 

Ultimately, Hosea’s story anticipates the greater Bridegroom who would come for his bride. Christ did not wait for a pure church before giving himself for her; he died to make her pure. And until that day when Christ presents his Bride in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, we must remain committed to her – not because she is perfect, but because Christ loves her.