It’s a curious thing to me. My daughter decides to play “school” with her younger brother, and curiously he does every single thing she tells him to do.
When Ella deems it time, Jrod opens his workbook and does every page she puts out; no matter how long it takes him. When it’s recess time, he goes out in the 100 degree heat and runs laps until Ella tells him to stop. And then, when it’s time for music class, Jrod sits at the piano and works even harder when Ella raises her voice and exclaims: “that note is staccato not legato!” She even asks him to do finger strengthening exercises (whatever that is) and….he does it. Curiously.
It’s interesting to me because my simple requests, such as putting dirty clothes in the hamper, get regularly ignored. But Ella asks him to do finger exercises (telling him to “ignore the pain”) and subtraction problems, and Jrod’s working before she can finish her directions.
Their “game” entertains them for an entire day, so I don’t disrupt them until it’s time to eat. And these “school” lunch times are also curious. It’s the only time Jrod actually eats. Ella comes upstairs, introduces me as lunch lady Louise, and explains that whatever gets placed in front of them is what they will eat. Done and done. Jrod will eat everything that lunch lady Louise places in front of him, a rare occurrence. Maybe I need to change my name to Louise for dinner time.
There are times when I find myself experimenting with Ella’s little tricks. Could it be that she’s figured out the nuances of parenting at the age of eight? I’m thirty-one and can’t accomplish with Jrod nearly as much as Ella seems to be able to during their “school” time. Maybe I could try growling (I heard Ella do this at one point during the morning).
But then I considered something this morning. My sisters “curiously” did the same thing as Jrod. They used to do everything that I told them to do.
There were times that I’d be lying around watching cartoons and out of pure and utter laziness would ask one of my sisters to get me a cup of water. The initial response was not only reasonable but completely deserved: “No.”
But then I would come back at them: “I’ll time you. And if you get a really good time, I’ll throw a carnival for you.”
Before I could share with them the “fine print” on my offer, one of my sisters would be racing up the stairs gathering me a cold drink of ice-water. When my sister would return, she’d fine a piece of paper taped to my door: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, the carnival is canceled for the day.” They were never mad at me – only at the unforeseen circumstances. Curiously, this kind of occurrence would happen over and over again.
When we were younger, my sisters and I would have our own “school” days. And, like Ella, I was always the teacher. And, like Jrod, neither of my sisters would ever question my role. Only we had the school at our fingertips…..literally. My sisters and I would cross the street with my dad on Saturday mornings, and while he studied upstairs, we entered the world of make believe downstairs. My game, though, was all too real.
There were times when my younger sister would actually cry when I didn’t give her a good marking for the day. She would be dismayed when my other sister would receive two stars on her “work” and she would only get one. Bekah, my younger sister, was like Jrod. Whatever I said, she did.
This was an unfortunate reality for Bekah. Once I realized she would not question me (Erin would always give me a little lip), there was no going back. It was even better when I realized that Bekah had a fear of being sent to the Principal’s Office. So on one particular day, as her teacher, I decided she didn’t listen well enough and off to the Principal’s office she went.
And, of course, I was the principal as well as the teacher. As we walked down the quiet hallway, I explained to Bekah what she did wrong and why she was going to the dreaded “office.” She was very apologetic, but I told her there was nothing she could do at this point. With that, she began crying.
Once we reached the office, I quickly switched roles and put on my Principal face. Sitting Bekah in a chair in front of me (picture Jack Bauer and his prey awaiting the torture that was inevitable), I simply pointed to a door in the back of the room:
“Rebekah,” I used my Principal voice,” do you know what happens to kids who get sent to the Principal’s office?”
“No,” she was totally shaking in her boots. “I’ve never been sent here before.”
“Well, Rebekah, when you get sent to the Principal’s office, you go into that back room. And in that back room, Rebekah, there is an electric chair. They electrocute you when you get sent to the office.”
“No, no, no….!”
I realized at this point that my sister truly did not know where the line between real and make believe existed, so I told her that she would not have to enter the closet room as long as she “behaved the rest of the day. ”
She thanked me profusely and once I was her teacher again, I took her hand and led her back to the classroom where I gave her five minutes to complete the math problems I had written on the chalkboard. And she did them. Curiously.
Later that week, during real life school, my sister Bekah was practicing for a musical with her class. One of the boys was being disrespectful, so the teacher sent him to the Principal’s office.
There was silence as the “real” teacher reprimanded the student. Silence, except for my sister. No one in the room could explain or understand her wailing and subsequent yelling, “No, please! Don’t electrocute him!”
I believe this experience had a profound impact on Bekah’s view of me as her valiant, older sister. She never did play my games quite like she did before the Principal’s office experience. In fact, she would come at me at times and say, “You’re not my boss,” something Erin learned earlier on. Without a doubt, I thoroughly enjoyed the many years that passed before my younger sister actually figured out that indeed, I was not her boss.
So, enjoy it, Ella. Enjoy the curious fact that Jrod will do whatever you tell him to do. One day, however, he will have the same eye opening moment as your Aunt Bekah. And when that comes….well….Lily, you better watch out.
