Just an Ordinary Day

I could never do my husband’s job. He’s good at what he does, and the demands on his day will always be beyond me. But, well, he couldn’t do mine either.

Yesterday, my husband was left at home with Lily for three hours. When I got home, there was an audible sigh of relief. He could now “get something done.” I rolled my eyes. Yes, I rolled them, but hey, I kept all commentary to myself.

Now, before you write me off as “that kind of wife,” let me explain the way my day has gone thus far.

I took Lily downstairs this morning so I could fit in a run on the treadmill. The two others were still asleep, so I figured with AM cartoons on, and dolls in place, I would have plenty of time before the rush of the day began. So I flipped on the Today Show and began running.

Within fifteen minutes, my “plenty of time” was over. All three surrounded me in the storage room where our treadmill is located. I thought getting them out would be an easy sell: “Hey guys, Imagination Movers is on in the other room! You could totally watch that and play….at the same time.” And yet, somehow, the humdrum of the treadmill was more appealing. Suffice to say, in order to get that run in I said I sad good-bye to Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera and instead watched with great anticipation at how the Imagination Movers were going to solve the dilemma of the day. In between cartoons, the kids became bored, and I was suddenly dodging balls, a game which they thought was hilarious until I explained to them the kind of horrible death their mother could die on this treadmill if they continued. I finished my run.

I needed a shower. Out went several toys and I told them mommy would be back in twenty minutes. Five minutes later, in waddles Lily. After throwing a temper tantrum because I wouldn’t allow her a bath, I pointed out a ladybug on the bathroom window. She cautiously walked over to it. I was so glad for this small gift from God. His little creation gained me five more minutes to shampoo.

As I watched, I noticed that Lily was no longer carefully curious about this little insect. She began to kiss it. I had considered that she might smash the insect, but I thought she’d have to be pretty deliberate to end it’s life. Or so I thought. The next thing I know, the ladybug was in her mouth. I think I was late on the morning snack.

I quickly got out, pulled the ladybug out of her mouth, and sat through another temper tantrum (clearly she enjoyed lady bug taste) while trying to get dressed. And….enter the other two. We have a fairly large house, but for some reason they all three ended up with me….again. They came in with bathing suits asking if they could pretend the bath tub was a hot tub. Whatever….I needed to get ready.

Within five minutes, half the tub water was on the floor. They transitioned the game from “hotel hot tub” to “Ella needs to go to jail and Jrod will put her there.” I told them to get out. Temper tantrum number three begins. It wasn’t until the water in the tub began running out that Lily realized she wanted to get in.

Thirty minutes later I had a huge mess, a crying and kicking baby, and a dead lady bug. But I got in that shower.

It was snack time. I had an awesome snack prepared because I need some time to study. It’s my turn to lead our Ladies Bible Study next week and I had done very little to prepare. So, I set out the snack and told them to quietly eat while mommy studied.

I sat down, took a sip of coffee, and opened my Bible. Almost picturesque if you didn’t know about the chaos in the adjacent room. But onward I went….for three minutes. The snacks were devoured and the fighting had begun. I got up and chastised Ella for deliberately shoving her brother, but then told Jrod that if you’re going to handcuff your sister, these things are going to happen.

I sat down, opened my bible and studied….for another ten minutes. The sudden crying was not an ordinary whine. Someone was in pain. And as I suspected, the two eldest did not heed my previous instructions and were continuing their arguments. Ella was still defending herself and Jrod was still trying to imprison her. This time Jrod figured he would try the shoving thing, and, like Jrod, Ella didn’t take it well either. I sent them to Chris’ office, told them to sit in silence until I returned, and then I shut the door. And begins temper tantrum number four.

Lily wanted into the office as well. For all she knew, that’s where the party was located. I tried to explain that they had been bad, but the kicks on the floor and banging of the head signified that she was not in line with what I was saying.

So, I turned on her favorite CD: High School Musical (please, no editorial comments about this, thank you). As I suspected, she moved away from the door and began dancing. I sat down, opened my Bible and began to read….for another five minutes. I stopped in order to prevent temper tantrum number five. Lily wanted the music “up, up, up….” So, I turned it up. Again, I went back to my Bible and had a solid twenty minutes while “Get your head in the game” blared in the background. But….I got in a grand total of almost forty minutes of study.

I finally put my study to the side, turned off the music, and opened the office doors in order to have a good, long talk with Ella and Jrod. As soon as the doors opened, my little protege started at them. She pointed her finger and chastised them in her own little language. And, as she always does, she ended the tyrant with “Ella and J!” We all began laughing….uncontrollably.

I love my job. I really do. But expect an eye roll when you tell me what you CAN’T do.